Sex, Drugs, and Excel Spreadsheets

I don’t really go to shows because I am a boring person who does nothing interesting. 

Last night I was hanging out with some friends and we met a couple of Canadian girls who liked the idea of one of my friends rubbing her own feces all over her body before they copulated. 

So we went to the bar where Scotty’s friend was, “spinning records.”

So we’re in the bar and the band is rocking hard. No shirt, tattoos, people making out, iphones at the ready. 

I don’t know, I mean, I had a pretty bad day, feeling down and everything so maybe that’s why this thing made me even more upset. 

Usually when I have had a bad day and my friends make me go watch music I will have a couple of drinks and I will feel better. 

There was a Black Sabbath cover band. 

Black Sabbath is great. 

These guys just made me unhappier. 

I guess I feel like if you go to a show and the music is hardcore, or metal, or core, or death, or death core, or punk rock, or punk core. Or basically something involving anger, and social unrest, then people should be hitting each other in the face. 

Instead people were gently bobbing their heads and swaying. 

Maybe they don’t get angry. Maybe they were raised to have self respect and self esteem. Maybe when they were in high school they were busy studying for their SAT s and planning the course of the next 40 years of their lives and setting up 401ks and mutual funds and their kid's college fund and mortgage and health plan and healthy relationships with healthy, happy friendships at a good job that pays well with good benefits that had nothing to do with their major and they just didn't have the time to be an asshole and smoke pot and sneak out and have sex and other things you should be doing in high school and now they are trying all that stuff after they have settled in to their responsible lifestyle and just can't seem to get it right because they don't know how to be the right kind of asshole. 

Maybe.

I wish I didn’t get angry and was raised in a more nurturing environment.

So yeah, the girl with the brand new Samhain shirt and her boyfriend with the brand new jean jacket with the brand new patches all over it, I hated them the most. 

I asked him if I knew him from the office down on soma. He didn’t know what I meant. 

Then I broke a glass and spit on the floor. (because I am stupid)

Some girl said, “that’s gross.”

I said, “I know, it’s hardcore.”

Or was it punk rock? 

I don’t know, I try not to pretend I’m something that I’m not.