Monday, October 28, 2013

Postive Statistics From the Newly Formed Positive Statistic Research Group LTD (a Start Up)

I have been made aware that my posts can be a little dismal. So I thought since it's the holiday season, I would make a list of some of the uplifting things life has to offer. **

I saw someone smile today. Then someone gave a homeless guy a quarter.

Pizza is delicious.

Because Halloween is all month this year, coke dealers are doing very well. 

Jesus had good intentions.

Even though there are a lot of hungry children, there are rich children that eat a lot. 

Santa wears his halloween costume for like, three months!

It's really easy to ignore the fact that slavery still exists and that we benefit from it.

Some people have multiple sex partners and do not get stds.

Even though we live in what is effectively a totalitarian aristocracy, the population seems to be generally as apathetic as their congressmen, so we do experience a relative representation.

If people call you bruh, bro, brah, homie, or "friend", you can feel like people care about you. 

Although food stamps are like, $200 a month per family, Dollar stores take them.

If you stub your toe, the pain eventually goes away.

50% of married couples do not get divorced.

There are more countries that we are not at war with than ones that we are.

The police do not harass every ethnic group.

Fast food rarely gives people echoli. Or is it ebola? Either way, most likely you won't get those.

Even though we cram millions of cows into a very small area so that we can eat steak three times a day, they never get lonely. *

And last on the list of positive feel good things, thanks to the 80s, we can see naked pictures of Canada's sexiest man.

*I am not saying that I do not eat steak. I do eat steak. I like it.

**Also, there is a small chance that these posts might get better.  


  1. Thank you for making my day better.

  2. actually even MORE than that DON'T get divorced in the US... I like that you believed the fact I told you the other day...

  3. you rock, friend-homie-bruh-bro!