Monday, February 9, 2015

Click Here and Make Money, well, Make Me Money

So I finally got approved for advertising on this thing.

I really am excited about this.


Not because I am going to make money, I will not make money. That is a proven statistical anomaly.

I am excited because we live in a time when the only true measure of one's worth is the amount of money companies are willing to invest into your existence.

Now the ad for removing warts, some gun company and the one in Spanish are really not investing a whole lot in me as a person but, the fact that on some level, some person at some place pushed some keys on a board and sent an email to someone else at some other place that had my name on it, well that's simply modern day validation at it's best.

I know that some of you are thinking that what is more important is to live a life of relative anonymity in which you are loved by perhaps only a few people who are in themselves inherently valuable.

But you're wrong.

I hate to say it but it is clear that the times of spiritual, emotional, artistic and even aesthetic authenticity are over.

All that shit has been been cut and pasted into a folder where all someone at a desk has to do is chop it up into 3 second increments in order to give you whatever sensation you need to get through the day, like a cup of coffee.

And this is a good thing.

I swear, I can wake up, feel five different emotions in less than a minute, believe that I am part of the collective human experience and then go on with the rest of my day making money at a job where I am part of the whole wonderful system of packaging the human experience and selling it to telephone companies.

Look, if ATT can make you feel like love is real and you are living in a beautiful world and Tinder can get you sex to your door in 30 minutes or less, well, we already have pizza delivery so what else do you want?

Ok, beer.

Oh wait, there is an app that will get you beer too. 


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