Saturday, February 15, 2014

The Adventures of Mike and Jim

A little ant name Mike was friends with a squirrel named Jim. 

They were both cool guys. Nobody fucked with them.

Until one day a crow flew down and bit off one of Mikes’ antenna. 

“This shit is not cool”, said mike. 

All of his friends were worried that Mike was going to lose his cool and trip hard. 

Mike was chill though and didn’t see the point in starting any shit over it, after all, “crows be trippin.” 

Mike used to always say that, even before he got his antenna bit off. 

Jim on the other hand was not that cool about it. 

He climbed up a really high power line one day, just to see if he could find the “little fucker that bit off his homies’ antenna.” 

He was up there and he saw some crows but he didn’t see the one who bit off Mikes’ antenna. 

He did see some other crows though, even one he used to chill with. 

“What the fuck are you looking at essay?” One of the crows yelled. 

“A bitch ass crow I guess”, answered Jim. 

The funny thing is, the crow didn’t do anything in response. I mean, Jim is just a squirrel, the crow could have fucked him up. 

“Whatever punk”, said Jim. 

When he got back down, Mike approached Jim. “Yo homie, I know you got my back but don’t trip off some bitch ass crow.”

Jim knew he was right. He shouldn’t trip off of some bitch ass crow. 

So they went to Whiz burger and got a milkshake, a corndog, a cheeseburger, some jalapeño poppers, fries, onion rings, and some ketchup. 

They didn’t buy that stuff of course, Jim dug some out of the trash and buried it in a nearby leaf pile and Mike just walked around and ate off of people’s plates. They didn’t even notice him because they were too caught up looking at the cute squirrel burying food from the trash to notice. 

Afterwards, they chilled at a spilled puddle of beer and “got faded.” 

Or as Mike put it, “I’m hella faded fool!”

The End

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