Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The Earth is like, Hella Old: an in Depth Objective "Historically Scientific" Analysis of the Ham v. Nye Debate






Everyone has been asking me how I feel about the Ken Ham v. Bill Nye the Science Guy debate.

I mean, no one has asked me that.

I don't know why, my opinion is just as valid as anyone else's.

I guess that means that they could pretty much ask anyone else and they would get a response that is equal to mine. So, it makes sense that they wouldn't necessarily ask me. They could of course, but that would have more to do with random chance I suppose, I don't know, statistics class was pretty annoying.

So, yeah, all I can say is, there was no masturbating going on for about, two and a half hours.

I guess that means god won.

I don't really think god is against masturbating though, if he was he probably would have just made our arms shorter.

Then again, we would look funny. But, maybe if our arms were shorter we would be used to it and we wouldn't think it was that funny.

That's kind of like the whole, "is the world 6000 years old or 4 billion" debate thing. We can't know because we are used to it the way things are.

Like if you read the bible you're like, "OMG (oh my gosh) the world is like, 6000 years old, everyone knows that!"

And you're friends are all like, "duh."

But, if you were raised to read books and think and use your brain and not just believe everything some asshole who got his AA at the "The Lord's Living and True Holy Teaching School" and your parents were nice to you and they were like, "we wouldn't lie to you about our absolute ignorance on the subject of science and stuff."

You might actually have an open mind.

Most likely not really but when it comes to stuff like religion, you probably won't believe it.

I'm just saying, either way you'll be a dick but on one hand you will be a dick who doesn't believe the earth was made 12 days before you were born and on the other you will think that there might be a near infinite amount of Earth's all over the universe with a near infinite amount of jerks writing a near infinite amount of really stupid blog posts for a near infinite amount of really bored people reading them. At the rate of about 200 readers per planet, with a near infinite amount of planets, the number of readers could reach the near infinite.

So yeah, Ken Ham needs to get laid and Bill Nye is getting laid right now, bow tie and all.

I guess we know who the real winner is.








1 comment:

  1. Best review hands down. Uh... with long arms.

    ReplyDelete