Sunday, August 31, 2014

Der Übermensch ist auf Instagram

“This is Alan, he’s addicted to you tube videos.” 

On the screen a commercial is playing.

While staring at his phone, a man opens the door of his car and hits a guy on a bike who then flips over the car. The man driving the car is fixated on his cell phone watching a video of a guy getting hit by a car on his bicycle. 

“This is great Jason, you have a gift.” A tall, blonde, moderately attractive 28 year old woman with a great ass that she got from the gym that is attached to her condo named Susan tells him. 

“You have made a great addition to our creative department.”

Jason has been in San Francisco for 3 years. He considers himself an artist but he is working in the marketing department of a technology startup company because rent prices in the city are very high. 

The company Jason works for is called, “Bumble Bee”. He doesn’t know why it’s called that, he has never asked. 

The company prides itself on its "hipness" and "relevance".

Many of the engineers as well as the creative department spend most of their time there. They are fed three meals a day, have an endless supply of beer and even have a recreation center full of games. 

The Nintendo 64 emulator is especially popular. 

Also, ping pong. 

Jason studied art design in college. 

He is a nice guy. He likes to have fun and is happy to be living in the city. 

He was born in Wisconsin and even though he loves his home town, wanted a new experience.
Jason, at his heart is an artist. Well, he feels that way. 

You see, Jason is not an artist, he is an asshole. 

Of course he is a very nice guy but what makes him an asshole is that he is completely oblivious to the fact that in order to create art you have to suffer. He did read that before though, in a book, in a class.

Jason came from a nice, clean, nurturing middle class white family. 

He is happy. 

He also is not aware that other people suffer. 

He wants to be creative though but really he is simply emulating things he has seen. 

This is not art.

It's confusing, I know, I do it all the time.

In a story like this, Jason’s life will take one of two directions. 
In one scenario, Jason will meet a girl.  Most likely of ethnic origins. This girl will show him the hardships that she has endured and help him understand that even though he is a nice guy, he is completely out of touch with the frustration that others experience daily. 

Jason will then have new experiences, meet new people, quit his job and devote his time to working with people who have been neglected by a system that favors those who are typically white, come from middle and upper class families and do not understand the nuance of exploitation that makes some rich and others poor. 

He does not talk about himself anymore, rather he sees the needs of others and is overcome with compassion. His art reflects his passion for life and expressing the deep sorrow that he feels when he witnesses the mistreatment of those whose voices go largely ignored. 

He is deeply pained at his own inadequacies. He does not make excuses for himself anymore. Rather, he learns to accept who he is. He is filled with rage at the act of distorting the truth in order to convince the population that they need to buy a product despite our over indulgence at the expense of a genuine culture. 

The other thing that can happen is what most likely will happen.

Jason will work at his job, try and paint in his spare time and go to hip restaurants with obnoxious names that serve slightly better than average food and drinks with people who are just like him that he met at work. 

They will have endless conversations about how they have always wanted to live in a city and do very cool things and meet very cool people.

Occasionally they will say things like, "wow, it's really crazy in the Ukraine." And, "what does ISIS mean?"

Eventually Jason will meet a girl who is very much like him and they will buy a house that had recently evicted a family of non white origin who had lived there for over 20 years. 

He will have no idea. 

They will have a couple of kids, send them to private school and live boring, mundane lives while drinking very tasty beer and watching Netflix originals (which, indecently are not too bad.)

For the sake of a continuation of an unoriginal theme, Jason will (stupidly ironically, or ironically stupidly) get hit by a car while watching monkeys jump on top of a bus full of tourists having sex (the monkeys, not the tourists. Well, maybe the tourists).

“Where am I?”

“You are in an ambulance.”

“How did I get here?”

“You were hit by a car.”

“That’s ironic.”

“It is?”

“I think so, I don’t know why I said that.”

Jason will be taken to an emergency room where he learns that he has no idea who he is. 

After a month of recuperation, even though he has never regained his memory, Jason returns to work.

(Jason walks through a door.)

People yelling in front of brightly colored streamers crowd in front of a big sign that says “Welcome Back!”
Jason does not recognize anyone but he can tell that they are all a "little fucking weird". 

“Hi.” Jason said to a tall, blonde, semi attractive woman with a great ass she got from the gym attached to her condo. 

“Welcome Back!”

She exclaimed. 

Jason felt uneasy. On the one hand he was not attracted to this woman but when she turned around, he was.
Someone hands Jason a beer. Jason drinks it and thinks, “damn, this is really good.”

Someone also hands Jason a taco, “holy shit! That’s a good taco.”

After all the partying and ping pong die down, Jason gets back to work. 

Unfortunately for Jason, he does not remember how to use the software. 

Fortunately for Jason, it isn’t very hard. 

Jason picks it up quickly and gets right back to work. 

His boss, the tall blonde lady, likes Jason’s new edge. 

Jason has a new edge BTW. 

He uses profanity more loosely. 

“This is fucking awesome!”

He exclaims. 

Also, he buys "skater clothes". 

They are still new so he has kind of an urban, hip, informal/formal work style. 

Jason really wants to have sex with the blonde lady. 

Fortunately for him, she also wants to have sex with him. 

So they go to one of the studios in the building and have sex.

(a little while later)

They both walk out of the door. Jason is buckling his belt and he winks at the fat guy sitting behind a computer who is wearing a t shirt that says, "engineers do it sitting down"  and is writing code for an application that helps single dads find cool stuff to do on the weekends that they have their kids.

You see, Jason sucks. 

He will always suck because he just does. 

He is not inherently a bad person. He just does whatever he has to do to survive and be happy.
That’s it, nothing else. 

His white, liberal parents fucked up. *

They forgot that they needed to raise by example, not simply have NPR playing in the background while they paid their Mexican laborer a small amount of money for mowing their lawn that shouldn’t have been watered in the first place because there is a severe drought going on. 

(of course that doesn’t really apply because there has never been a drought in Wisconsin)
(I think)
(pretty sure)

*But they are proud of him.

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