It's all about the Bitches and the Money

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So I was talking to my dog.

Actually, I was reprimanding her for barking too much.

And then she was like, “the reality is, I bark a lot less than you talk.”

Now, she is obviously right, but I think we can all agree that the real issue here is that she used the expression, “the reality is.”

So I said, “oh, so you think if you add a qualifier to your statement that that somehow validates your position to the point of irrefutability based on a single pithy phrase like, ‘the reality is’, or ‘the truth is’, or ‘to be honest’, or, ‘honestly’, or some other bullshit?"

Really, those are the only ones I could think of.

 But you know, so it would sound like I am questioning her integrity if I disagreed. 

And she was like, “dude, you’re obviously making all of this up because you can’t think of a better way to complain about people trying to make themselves sound more important than they are in an attempt to silence opposition in a discussion.”

So I was like, “um, no, I mean, yeah.”

Then I rolled my eyes and she just laid there.

She knows how to push my buttons.

We didn’t talk for a while after that.

Really, I don’t even remember what we were arguing about.

That happens sometimes.

You get so caught up trying to defend yourself that when you are dismissed and you know they weren’t really listening but just trying to figure out how they were going to prove you wrong with a few words that don’t even have a lot of meaning to them but for some reason sound like they do. Kind of like when people are like, “libtards are fucking stupid.” And you’re like, “well, yeah. We are all stupid and tend to think with our emotions instead of trying to understand what might be lacking in our genetic make up that causes us to hold on to ideas that are not only harmful to others, but also ourselves.” And they agree but still can’t understand why you think it’s weird that the party that always hated Russia all of a sudden doesn’t seem to care at all that there is a very real possibility that their leaders are beholden to them while simultaneously being completely incompetent, and then there’s the emoluments stuff as well as cutting funding for everything good including healthcare and art and feeding old people and children, while increasing spending for the world’s most powerful military and holy shit, this guy has spent ten times as much in one month as the previous president spent in a year on travel and they were all upset about that and now they don’t care and they’re like, “the reality is, I trust him because he tells it like it is and crooked Hillary.”

To be honest, I think she's just fucking nuts.