Sunday, August 11, 2013

Sanctified Organic*

I haven't gone to church in a long time. I went today. It was just as I remember it.

I walked through the front door and what is the first thing that happens? Some guy acting as security pretends he is there to greet me but really he is sizing me up because, let's be honest, I do appear threatening.

Actually, if I did appear threatening it would be in less of a, "I'll kick your ass" kind of a way, and more of a, "I'm going to say a bunch of stuff that is going to upset people who are holding on to a superficial mode of conduct in order to make sense out of a complicated existence."

And it's not because I think I know the answers or something, I just express my confusion. I think that makes religious types uncomfortable.

Then, I walk through seas of people, hundreds of people, just waiting to get some kind of acknowledgement. But, nothing. It was like I wasn't even there. They really seemed unhappy.

Although the one guy at the table where they talked about what's going on with believers in other parts of the world was pretty nice.

But then another guy was like, rude. He was defending the validity of his belief system.  

There were a lot of kids running around. Some seemed happy enough, others were obviously confused by the whole thing. Some other kids seemed to think that if they just said the right religious slogans and wore the right religious t shirts they would be considered, "cool".  Really they just wanted to make out with chicks.

So at least there is some hope.

I grabbed a little snack, because it was free*, but there was something about it that made it seem like there were strings attached, you know, like they wanted something from me.

More walking around, looking for a good isle. As I turn the corner, I end up right next to this attractive girl. Oh wait, she's not attractive at all! She just has really expensive clothes on as an attempt to mask the fact that she is pretty homely.

Homely girls can be attractive though, except when they try to cover up their ugly with money.

And sanctimony!

It's weird how you can hold such socially conscious views and be really stingy with your money. 

Then this guy from behind the wooden counter starts talking. He said, "this is right, this is wrong." "Do this and you will be good, keep doing this and you will stay bad."

Honestly, it was a bit overwhelming. I think he might have actually been right about a few things.

It's weird how someone can be right about some things and be such an asshole that it makes you want to ignore pretty much everything they have to say.