Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Sex and Bunson Burners (minus the sex)

There's nothing worse than a scientist with a leather jacket. Well, maybe a christian apologist, but that's a whole other kind of asshole.

You can't be too cool for school if you really like school. Might want to take a refresher course in basic syllogism.

Guy likes school. School isn't cool. Guy who likes school is not cool. 

This new breed of, "I don't give a fuck because I extrapolate data based on current quantum mechanical reactivity..." and ummm some other really bad ass shit for bad assess who used to get stuffed in lockers by really bad bad assess who now clean the lockers of the not so bad assess who now think they are bad assess because they bought a leather jacket and wore it on the Colbert Report.

I don't know where that was going but, yes, science is cool. However, it is not cool in the sense that jumping a motorcycle that was made in the 50's over 100 oil drums in front of Potsie and Richie Cunningham is cool. It's cool in the sense that if you crack your head open and your brains spill out they are able to push it back in and reconnect your skull. That's cool because it's practical.

Although you might be neat, or interesting, and a little goofy (which in another sense are also very cool) you are not James Dean. Sorry guys.

Go ahead though, keep trying to figure out ways for us to get off of this god forsaken planet so we can meet other beings on other worlds that are probably a bunch of self centered, entitled assholes just like we are. Who probably drive their gas saving, environment protecting, turd rocket really fast and defeat the whole purpose anyway as they honk at every old lady who doesn't make her left turn fast enough on their way home from getting paid way too much money to create new apps that will only be used until the next spawn of app comes out to distract the rest of them from the fact that they have absolutely nothing interesting to say, except of course, "that new fusion restaurant is really good".

Inevitably we will have to find a way to fix our broken down ship and get the hell out of there but it probably won't work and we'll just have to spend the duration of our lives having sex with aliens that are not any where near as hot as the 100s of different alien girls that Captain Kirk has hooked up with.

Who knows, they might not have annoying christian apologists who lie for a living and tell people that slaves were treated well and preferred to remain property rather than gain their freedom because their masters "took such good care of them". 

I'll give them that.