Thursday, September 5, 2013

How Much Wood, would a Woodchuck Chuck if a Woodchuck was Trying ReallyHard to Fit in?

I got a hair cut today. I have always gotten the same haircut*, except when I was a kid and I asked if they could cut my hair like Jack Tripper. That was John Ritter's character from the tv show "Three's Company". I really liked that show. One night I was trying to stay up and watch it, but I kept falling asleep, because I was ten. I thought I could hang, but kids are retarded.

I'm sure that never happened to you. Smug ass.

The show was a hit. I never got the sexual innuendo though. I hadn't heard the term, innuendo yet either, I mean, maybe I heard it, I don't know. Sex was new too. They told me I could do things to myself in fifth grade. They kind of creeped me out. I wasn't doing things to myself yet.

Once I started all of that, I did not refer back to the lesson telling me it was ok. Instead I just kind of kept it to myself. Also, I did not think about the girls from Three's Company. On a side note, I also did not have the internet. I can't comprehend what all that porn would have done to me. Kids these days are very lucky.

So yeah, back to my haircut. I got my haircut at a place called, "Great Clips". Like I said earlier, I have been getting the same haircut my whole life*. It's a boring cut, but it seems to  be quite popular with guys who have beards, wear jeans and work boots with plaid shirts on while sitting at a desk where they decide what improvements need to be made to the game where you and your friends figure out how many people like who more and pictures of girls or something on social networking.

One day, after getting a haircut, I saw one of these "blue collar workers" having someone change his tire for him on his PICKUP TRUCK. That is part of the reason that I went to Great Clips today. That and it was only 15 bucks instead of 30 for a "men's haircut." Also, the nice asian lady did not treat my head like a basketball. Plus, I got a happy ending. A happy ending when you get a haircut is when she uses the clippers on your neck and it gives you goosebumps.

I'd like to think that I'm not boring, but, when I tell people that I went to Great Clips instead of "place to go and be around other people who are trying to convince themselves that their lives are substantial because they all look exactly the same and work at the same job and talk about the same places to eat that other people talk about who are trying to appear substantial" well, I guess I sound boring.

I am ok with being boring, unless I get bored. Being boring is fine with me, but being bored kind of sucks. People talk down on people who admit to being bored. Like, if you are cool you won't get bored. I try to be cool, but it doesn't come naturally. I have encountered some people who seem to be cool. I don't know if they get bored or not.

Fortunately, you now have an example of boring, i.e., this is boring.

*I've had a bunch of other haircuts. I don't know why I said that. Maybe for dramatic effect.

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