Sunday, June 30, 2013


I am very superstitious.

I do not like it.

I also believe that the universe is a random place where things happen without any reason or forethought, I'm just saying, there is no meaning, we make that part up.

Unless of course you’re a nerdy scientist who finds meaning in randomness. So I did a thing that I thought meant one thing (a thing that is a little scary, like an 80s horror movie. Texas chainsaw massacre? Not one of those boring Saw movies or the insanely hilarious, ummm, Scary Movie, the one with David Cross I guess, I haven't seen it, But David Cross is the GREATEST COMEDIAN OF OUR GENERATION. Well, maybe not, but he's up there for sure) but in actuality meant something else (something very uplifting, like a motivational speaker, David Copperfield is motivational because he married a supermodel and he is a HUGE DORK. If you have a more current reference feel free to send it to the editor).  Even though the significance (based on a rationalization, i.e., a reason to do what I wanted to and not what I was afraid to) had been altered and allowed me to feel more optimistic about the thing, the initial anxiety lingered in the dark corners of my otherwise uninteresting brain.  Now that I was on an enlightened path I figured I could allow myself to enjoy the article in my possession without any stressful occurrences. I just don’t see how a HAT can cause a piece of PIZZA that I bought in the tenderloin (key term) at one o’clock in the morning (also suspicious) to cause my internal organs to erupt in a… well, they erupted. I don’t see how the one could have had anything to do with the other. And, I don’t think it can. But, because of said bowel disruption, the damage has been done. Unfortunate validation of a false assumption and an unrelated conclusion. I mean, its not like my dog’s have bad luck. Other than of course being the pets of someone who is superstitious.

On a side note. According to dorky people who use the word "quantum", a particle can be in multiple places at the same time. So, yeah.


  1. I'm super curious. What hat? What happened to the pizza? Elaborate please. Otherwise I will feel like a fool because I can't tell if you're being cynical or serious. A thing only has the meaning we give it, but still, isn't it interesting? So what was the meaning that made you lose your bowels?