Thursday, July 4, 2013

Keep it Stupid, Simple ummm, Guy.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I were six inches tall. Well, I have never wondered that, but I'm sure some really bored guy has.

I don't know why anyone would want to be six inches tall. Bugs would be way bigger, germs would also be bigger and I'm sure they would kill you more easily.

That's why I hate those "Honey I shrunk the..." movies. Just very unrealistic.

Plus, nobody really likes Rick Moranis, except in the beer movie.

I heard his friends don't really like him because he is mean. I don't know if that's true though, people say things.

I don't think he's religious though, so that's good. You can always redeem yourself by not being religious. Which, incidentally, is kind of ironic. It's not really kind of ironic, it is ironic. Because religion's whole purpose is redemption.

I was religious before. I never felt redeemed though. I never felt bad about all the bad things I did when I was a kid. I was told that I needed to be redeemed a lot. I didn't care. I think the thing I liked most about religion is that it affirmed my belief that humanity is dumb. But that made me wonder if that meant God was dumb.

I didn't do that much bad stuff. I never stole from my friends or anything. Although I stole something from an actual person once. I felt bad, but then my dad stole it from me. I hate when I realize I have things in common with my dad. It happens. But I don't play soccer.

The pope likes soccer, and most of his fans are also soccer fans. I know this because the pope is European and Europeans love soccer.

Jesus wasn't European though, but the pope thinks he was. Some people think Jesus was black.
I don't believe in the soul, so I guess that means Jesus couldn't have been black. Because black people have soul. And I don't think Jesus danced. Basically he just criticized people a lot for having fun. That's not really a black thing either. That's something white people do. So yeah, Jesus must have been white.