Friday, July 5, 2013

One Stop Toe Pop

Once I had a zit on my big toe. It could have been an ingrown hair, but I don't know the difference. That's because I, like millions of Americans, am an idiot.

During science class in high school I used to take an eraser, attach staples to it and pretend it was a skateboard. Then I would lay my oversized head on the brand new, never been read textbook that my dumb ass should have been reading and fall asleep.

About five minutes before class was over I would lift my head off of my extremely uncomfortable desk only to feel dizzy, and gassy. I would then look around wondering what the hell was going on. Because of the horrible sleep I got I would, for a brief moment, realize what an asshole I was (wait a second, I, like most high school kids, did not realize I was an asshole yet). I mean, I saw the microscopes. Microscopes are cool dummy.

Then I walked out the door, ate a shitty lunch if I was lucky and stare at any girl (like a pedophile) that would glance over at me. Not an effective strategy.

I am pretty sure the little drawings my teacher had me do in history class did not effectively sink into my brain the differences in the three branches of government either, nice try jerk.

I saw that guy a few years ago, he used a curse word. I think he mentioned something about high school kids too, I think his exact words were something like, "shit" and "idiots".

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