Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The Ultimate Cure for Boredom

I went to the beach the other day. It was nice. I love the beach. Something really intense happened to me when I was at the beach. I got bored. I got bored at the beach because I am insane.

Then I realized, we are all bored. That's why we wear fucked up clothes, become religious, have sex with animals, and talk about drinking coffee. We just get bored.

I equate everything we do to some kind of survival instinct. So how does boredom stem from an impulse to survive when you're alone on the great plains (or wherever people surviving used to live)?

Hate makes sense, violence and creativity, the need to kill, but being bored? It seems like if you were trying to survive on instinct alone without modern convenience you would not have time to be bored. So maybe that's the point, we have too much free time.

But I like free time. I like doing nothing, but then I get bored and I want to do something. Sometimes I get excited, this is usually when I'm hungry.  Survival impulse kicks in, time to kill something and eat it! That's exciting. So I get up, walk to the microwave and pop in a plastic container with something frozen that someone else killed (someone who maybe isn't as bored as me, but still bored nonetheless). Now I'm not hungry, and I'm back to being bored.

Boredom makes us crazy. It makes us name our pets after shit (not shit like "stuff" but shit like feces). Like, "here's my cat, Poopoo Buttons". We do insane stuff like that and everyone thinks it's funny, because they're bored too.

And it doesn't stop there. It doesn't matter if we are doing things, we still get bored. World rulers get bored, so they start wars. Rich people get bored, so they lobby to get poor people to pay higher taxes while they get tax cuts. Religious people get bored, so they have gay sex and preach against the "abomination" on Sundays.

Some people really go crazy because of boredom (like really crazy). We call them, mentally ill.

We don't like mentally ill people very much though, even though they seem to have found a cure for boredom.
Maybe they remind us how close we are to insanity.
I mean, we do a lot of crazy things.

We talk to god. We buy lottery tickets. We eat popcorn in movie theaters.  We say things like, "Vince Vaughn is a good actor". We dream of being famous, or meeting a famous person. We vote for republicans. 

It's even considered normal to watch tv shows about people who have a lot of money but are really dumb and waste all of their money trying to make themselves appear important.

There is one sane thing that we all agree on though. You should never give a homeless guy a quarter because, "they will only us it to do drugs."

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