Science in the Real World

My dogs really like to sniff (and sometimes eat) some pretty displeasing stuff. For example, poop. I was walking by a warm pile of my dogs poop recently and I thought, you know, if I really cared about the scientific method, I would do a little experiment.

Because I have no real scientific understanding or equipment (I can barely watch Neil DeGrase Tyson for more than a few minutes because everyone loves him so much) I have to make do with the resources that I have.

So, of course I could smell the poop without trying, it was pungent as usual. My dogs tend to have very consistent stools. Of this I am a little jealous.

Back to the experiment. My dogs love shit, but they hate bananas, well, Stella hates bananas. She also doesn't like other delicious things, but she eats cat turds. Now, I will never smell a cat turd on purpose. I don't know, I just don't trust the feline digestive system.

Years ago I used to smoke pot and make food that should not have been consumed. Like, top ramen with strawberry jam fried in a pan. Because I was high (and starving) I convinced myself I was eating chowmein, and I enjoyed it. In retrospect it does sound better than the packet of ketchup my friend put in hot water that he was convinced tasted like tomato soup (and he wasn't even high, just starving). 

Long story short, I tried to be objective, I allowed myself to process the odor of the turd. For a second it smelled like salami. I thought, "maybe there is something to this." Whether there was or was not, the inevitable defense mechanism that says, "do not eat dog shit" came into play.

I would say I was dissapointed at my lack of control over my impulses, but in reality, I appreciate them. My dogs are not protected in this way. They smell shit, it smells like salami (I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt) they eat it, then they throw up.

The weird thing is, we have impulses to keep us from eating dog shit, but we don't have impulses that keep us from being dicks. In fact, we have impulses that make us act like dicks. I really wonder about the whole survival thing. We know not to eat dog shit, but we still act like dicks.

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*Neil is not a dick, but he knows one when he sees one.